Why is it so hard to just set stuff up these days? Oh right. Because everyone's jumping on the SaaS train so "open source" includes some convoluted hoops to shimmy through.
Speaking of, welcome to bearwavetech.com v4!! $9.99/mo for premium features like text-on-screen articles! (huhuhu...)
After trying a few things, like Jekyll-powered github pages blogs, and manually maintaining stuff, it seems the most likely scenario is I'll forget all about this again in the next week or two and it'll go in the pile of blog graveyards.